Anniversary

Ten years ago,
right about now,
Your heart said, "That's it."

You had no choice
but to crumple
like an old shirt
let fall to the floor.

After the frantic call
I whispered,
"It's ok. We'll be fine."
That permission
was the last thing I could give you,
tired as you were from
hanging on.

You were never afraid to die.
Through all the scares
over 20 years
you were most calm
when the threat was close,
when the blood was uncertain
of its flow.

Maybe you hoped
for an easy way out
of a life you hadn't quite
gotten right
but were completely bound to
by responsibility
habit
comfort
and love.

Was it ok,
in the end,
to slip away with the TV on and a cup of coffee,
having just kissed daughter and grandson goodbye?
Were you content
to leave that life as it was--
comfortable, close and known--
like an old favorite shirt?

MJO
2/12/11