This one is hot off the press...fresh from the oven...and just fell off the turnip truck. It came this morning as I was contemplating the pros and cons of being so connected to Feeling all the time, wondering if this was something to cherish or a sign to get back into therapy. The truth came through loud and clear that whether or not it is a gift or a curse, and even though it is often uncomfortable, I do cherish it.
There is an Ocean Within
There is an ocean within
and all around us
Of Feeling
and Aliveness
And God.
I don’t want to be distant
From the intensity
Of knowing I am immersed
In something that immense
And powerful.
That intimacy,
I seek
Every day
Every night
In every touch
Of salt water
Wave
And undercurrent.
I want to surf
Sound
Float
And be pulled under,
Learn to breathe water
or drown.
Because otherwise
I am simply a bystander
An onlooker
Stranded on the lone and level shore.
Something else that came this morning: Emotions, which can be deceptive and unhelpful at times, can lead us to the Wisdom of the Heart. Thoughts, which can be incorrect and destructive at times, can lead us to the Understanding Mind. Neither thoughts nor feelings ARE the wise understanding, they simply point the way to something bigger and truer.
That's all I got so far on this...
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I thought about this the other night after reading something you wrote: I think that the best thing is to start from death and go backwards. Death is easy, life is hard. Something that Gore Vidal said a long time ago is still sort of relevant to me now. He talked about life as being a prison, that according to our cultural, economic, and religious upbringing that we were pretty much trapped. And I think he's right, in a way. He also said that art gave us a chance to at least peek out of that prison every once in a while. Again, maybe that's true. Of course, he went on to conclude that we were all fucked anyway, and we'd never escape.
ReplyDeleteBut, to hell with that, even if it's true. Paint the escape route anyway, Vidal could have been as full of shit as anyone.
I've never been a big fan of Gore. Starting with that name...I'm just sayin. Although I won't argue with his premise, Death is easier than Life, it sounds like he was pretty damn depressed and negative. Now I don't want to give pessimists a bad name...they are usually much more accurate in their assessments of things than optimists who routinely overestimate and idealize themselves, others, and the situation in general. However, being realistic does not mean you have to conclude that we are all fucked and ought to just give it up. I say NAY to Mr. Vidal! There is something all around us, within us, and between us that is more profound and more mysterious than anything our tiny minds can yet comprehend. I call it God for lack of a better term, although I do not have a belief in any kind of traditional notion of God, I do have faith that there is something beyond my small, suffering self that can enlarge the experience of feeling imprisoned and stuck, waiting to die. However, you have to go looking for it, paying attention to the small shoots of green between the broken concrete.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, profound, impassioned; you!
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